Where will YOU be on May 30th?

Ever since I discovered the Scripps National Spelling Bee on television a decade ago, I have become obsessed with the event and its participants. I am fascinated by the sheer amount of time and energy devoted to preparing for the Bee, on the part of both the spellers and the organizers. As a linguaphile and a perpetual student of the English language, I am drawn each May to what I believe is the ultimate celebration of orthographic precision. As this year's competition draws closer, I look forward to seeing the fine crop of talent that the 2007 Bee will showcase.

Of course, the National Spelling Bee has its fair share of opponents, not least of which is the Simplified Spelling Society. Founded in 1908, the Society has since been on a mission to reform the system of English spelling by eliminating its inconsistencies. Visit the SSS’s website and you will see some good examples of their chief complaint. (Why don’t “comb,” “tomb” and “bomb” rhyme? Why do “they,” “say” and “weigh” rhyme?) Sure, the Society makes a good case for change, but the practice of reforming a language that draws from so many others only serves to introduce a new set of problems. The fact is that English spelling is phonetic to some degree, but has a great deal more to do with where a word comes from and what it means. To dismantle the association between orthography and origin is to ignore the fact that each word tells a story -- a fact that gives the English language its charm.

In spite of the continuing debate, spelling has remained a popular pastime since the Bee’s founding in 1925. Over the past eight decades, the event has become more than just a spelling competition; for many participants, today's Bee is a forum for meeting new people and forging lifelong friendships. Moreover, it is a symbol of hard work, dedication and unwavering discipline. But most importantly (at least for me), the Bee is a proud display of the English language and all its contradictions: its beauty and its inelegance, its exactness and its imprecision, its countless rules and its equally countless exceptions.

The English language is the consummate double-edged sword, at once steadfast and unpredictable. It is this very quality of the language, and the challenges that its study presents, that draw me to the Bee each year -- and 2007 will be no exception.

Details, Details

As someone with a sincere interest in the technical aspects of language, I am always eager to find esoteric rules of English grammar and usage that tend to be glossed over in grade-school classrooms. For instance, what's the difference between "further" and "farther"? If you've participated in a marathon, would you say you "have run" or "have ran"? Do you "lie down" when you're sleepy and "lay down" when you're super-duper sleepy? In my quest for knowledge, I was able to find answers to these questions and have decided to document them here for future reference.

1. "Farther" refers to additional physical distance, while "further" refers to additional time, amount, or other abstract extent or degree. Though some sources insist on using them interchangeably, you can be sure not to offend any sticklers by making the distinction.
   Examples:
   a.) Ann lives farther from Beth's house than Charlie does.
   b.) This statement couldn't be further from the truth.
   (Digression: The liar paradox is cool. Click here to share my fascination.)
   
   
2. One Saturday afternoon when I was about eight years old, my grandmother sent me down the street to my aunt's house to deliver some food. In a hurry to return home, I ran as fast as I could, not noticing our neighbor's highly energetic (read: psychotic) dog running around in the front yard. The dog must have taken my running past him as an invitation to chase me, because that is what he proceeded to do. Needless to say, I was scared out of my mind. All I wanted to do was drop off the food and get home, but instead I was running in circles in the middle of the road, trying not to be eaten alive by this rabid creature. Eventually, the neighbor saw what was happening and called out his dog's name, at which point the dog lost interest in chasing me and ran back to his owner. Once I regained my composure and a healthy heart rate, I proceeded to my aunt's house at a very slow, deliberate walking pace. For years after the incident, I was terrified of dogs but I've since managed to overcome my fear. I realize now that had I not run past the dog on that fateful day, I would never have been chased to begin with. Moral of the story: I once ran past a dog (scary), I have run on treadmills (tiring), I will run for president (sheer folly).
   
   
3. You lay something down (like a book, a child or the law), but you lie down when you yourself are going to bed. In the simple past tense, you laid down the law and then you were tired, so you lay down for a nap. In the perfect past tense, you had laid down the law and then you had been tired, so you had lain down for a nap. So in conclusion, just say "I was tired so I went to bed." It's simple, it's grammatically correct, and it doesn't make you sound like a pedantic jackass. Three for three.

Toning Your Rhetoric

Yesterday I was in the locker room at the gym, changing into my work-out clothes, when a woman came up behind me and started pulling her belongings out of the locker directly above mine. Hovering over my locker door and rummaging in my gym bag for my running shoes, I realized I was in the woman's way so I hastily glanced over my shoulder in her direction and apologized. She responded with, "Don't worry about it. These are cramped quarters." As I pulled my running shoes out of my bag, I assured her, "I'll be out of your hair in a second." I then shut my locker door and turned around, and there it was: a triangle of short, brown curlies staring me right in the face. Not cool.

As I left the locker room, I mulled over my poor choice of words and chided myself. Lesson learned? Step 1: Open mouth. Step 2: Insert foot. Step 3: Find new gym.

And God said, "Let there be blogs..."

So here it is: my foray into the world of blogging. I intend to post entries regularly, so make sure you come back and visit. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll ask for more. I guarantee it.